Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I wrote a llllloooooonnnnnnnngggggggggg time ago about having to clean up my dad's place. Well...I did. At least most of it. I scrubbed and cleaned and sorted and tossed, etc. And I got most of the rooms done.
Last summer, I also finished cleaning up his extra bedroom.
The thing is........now that it's been a couple years it's almost as dirty/messy as ever. My dad just can't seem to get his act together...I feel like he's becoming a pack-rat.
The problem with this is that the kids and I want to move in with him next October. Soooooooo.........there's a lot of work to be done. Again.
Starting in March, big things are happening, inshaAllah.
I didn't get to tear down the walls and put up new ones, so that needs to be done. At least for two of the upstairs bedrooms. The kitchen needs a new ceiling....and the bathroom needs a new tub.
Those are the biggest problems. I won't go in too much about the garage roof or the outdated kitchen with the tar pit in the middle of the floor where my dad tried taking out the tiles years ago... As long as the big problems get taken care of, I'm sure I can get to the rest of it all in good time.
The thing is that I'm going to start working again. And I'm going back to school. InshaAllah I'll have enough time! I'm afraid I'm going to have to do everything on Saturdays when my dad is at work--because I think he's a little like me and can't stand to sit around while other people work.
Sooooooooo. Before we can move in, these things need to be accomplished:
--tear out walls upstairs and put up new drywall/sheetrock
--put in new tub or new tub surround
Things that would help:
--Put in a new ceiling in the kitchen
--Get electricity to my closet (my dad rewired last fall and hasn't quite finished everything). It's a big closet and it needs light. Maybe an outlet, too...
Things that I hope to accomplish in the (possibly) four years I'm to live with him:
--Take down ugly 70's wallpaper and replace with neutral paints
--Paint all of the moulding white white
--Paint all the doors either white or black
--Paint the ugly back stair wall panelling a creamy color
--Put in bookcases on the back landing
--Remodel bathroom--Home Depot
--Remodel kitchen--Ikea
--Etch glass on the front door and foyer window
--Replace door hardware on ALL the doors
--Refinish the wood floors downstairs and upstairs
That's quite a lot...there are other smaller things I'd like to do. For instance, the foyer closet is pretty big and there are two doors to it. One door in the foyer and the other in the dining room. I'd like to make the closet smaller and put a walk-through in. I'd pretty much just take the doors off of their hinges, take out the door hardware and put up new moulding fo finish it and make it look like that's the way it was meant to be.
With the big things, my brother is willing to help. InshaAllah it'll be fine. I'm sure he can also scavenge up some friends for times when two people just aren't enough for the job. My husband will help with the walls and with the things that he can before he leaves.
The house, as is, is pretty bad. But it's a 1903 house with a lot of potential. The rooms are large and there are a lot of them. Living room, family room, dining room, kitchen, pantry, three bedrooms, one bath and two staircases. The ceilings are high and the moulding is attractive, but not gaudy. The windows in the house are huge and since the front of the house faces North, the side of the house (which is longer than the front/back) catches both the morning and evening sunlight, mashaAllah.
I'm hoping that the benefits from me living with my dad don't all fall on my side. I really wish that I can be of some use to my dad. Honestly, I think that he just doesn't know where to begin. He lived with my mother for so long that he doesn't know anything else. InshaAllah I can take care of some of that. I think that my housework will be appreciated, inshaAllah.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Everyday is a Crisis.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
A lot of people know about Flylady. She's pretty popular...but for some reason the only thing I really do is the crisis cleaning. I don't like to do my cleaning in little spurts during the day. I prefer to get it all done at once and then relax!
So like I said, I do the crisis cleaning...just a little modified.
The only thing I really do differently is that I only take 10 minutes in the bathroom and I do 5 minutes in each bedroom putting away clothes and toys and making beds, etc.
I find that 15 minutes in the kitchen and 15 minutes in the living room allows me time for everything, because I don't do everything every day. If I vacuumed inside of the sofa and chairs one day, the next I'll probably be wiping down lamps and tables instead...
Before we go to bed, we do one more quick pick-up and my apartment stays looking half-way decent, mashaAllah. It's not pristine or sterile (like my husband wants), but I don't usually have a problem with drop-in guests.
Fi aman Allah!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Working Mama Muslimah
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I'm on my way to getting a job. My husband goes abroad in September to finish his degree...and I'll be at home with the girls. Well, not quite. I'm going to go live with my dad. InshaAllah it'll be okay.
Anyway...I'm going back to school. I'm going to try to get a technical certificate as a MA, inshaAllah. It'll take about three semesters, inshaAllah...but I'm going to start looking for jobs in April. InshaAllah I'll have something by May wa Allahu Alim!
I only want to work part-time. Preferably as a receptionist or administrative assistant. That way I'll still have time at home for the girls (and my husband will be able to take care of them while I'm at work) and time to study...
Anyway...I've been wearing Abaya for about four years now. The only time I don't wear it is when I'm working. So..................I've started a search for appropriate clothing. Long skirts, long-sleeved shirts/blouses, sheath dresses that I can wear over pants and blouses, etc....things that can be bought a little bigger as to conceal the body...long cardigans to cover up anything that might be a little too tight. You get the picture.
So far, here are a few of my favorites...
Metro Style has got some suits and blazers that look nice and don't cost a fortune:
Newport News is another website with pretty affordable, professional looking clothing that can made to suit a Muslimah's wardrobe:
EastEssence also has some nice sets...albeit my goal is to still look classy while being modest......not frumpy. Fi aman Allah!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Raving
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I've been using the cold cream and witch hazel for long enough to start raving about it. I usually have some blemishes before and during a certain time of the month...but by my face, I can't tell that it's coming anymore. Really, I have quite blemish prone skin and I only have two blemishes on my face at the moment--which are easily covered by foundation (not even concealer!).
So here I am, proclaiming it! The cold cream and witch hazel is wonderful! My face is clean, I have very few (if any) blackheads anymore, my skin is supple, not dry. That and my make-up looks great on my face...it seems like my skin ton has evened out somehow! MashaAllah! I can't say enough about it!
Fi aman Allah!
I've been using the cold cream and witch hazel for long enough to start raving about it. I usually have some blemishes before and during a certain time of the month...but by my face, I can't tell that it's coming anymore. Really, I have quite blemish prone skin and I only have two blemishes on my face at the moment--which are easily covered by foundation (not even concealer!).
So here I am, proclaiming it! The cold cream and witch hazel is wonderful! My face is clean, I have very few (if any) blackheads anymore, my skin is supple, not dry. That and my make-up looks great on my face...it seems like my skin ton has evened out somehow! MashaAllah! I can't say enough about it!
Fi aman Allah!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Getting "Clean and Tidy"
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
My husband thinks I'm filthy. Not just messy. Not just untidy. He thinks I'm filthy.
I admit, I don't vacuum daily sometimes. I admit, I don't mop daily. I admit that I only clean the bathroom every other day....and the inbetween day will invariently leave some of my hair on the floor after I've brushed it out.
But I feel like my family and my happiness is more important that a house that is hygienically clean. And anyway, I don't want to live in a sterile environment...it's not healthy. Literally.
I think my husband gets it from his mother. She's the kind of person that washes the walls with soapy water and a huge brush about once a month. She squeegies her floors and vacuums daily. The countertops in the kitchen are cleaned many many times a day and the beds are ALWAYS made even after midday naps.
Now, I love my mother-in-law. She's a wonderful person and the clean stuff comes naturally to her. But it's kind of annoying. If I put anything down for two minutes, it might just be missing ("put away") by the time I come back for it. And I wouldn't dare leave anything sitting on top of a dresser or table...I'd never find it again after it had been "put away".
That's not exactly the kind of environment I want my kids to live in either. My husband grew up without toys. I'm not sure whether that was a result of my father-in-law thinking toys were kind of useless (I'm not sure if he thinks that way) or whether it was a result of my mother-in-law not wanting to deal with the mess. When I'm in Syria with my kids, they have toys...but a very select few that get stuffed into a bag and put back into a closet as soon as the kids are done playing.
In my home, there are *usually* toys on the floor. Our phones are usually lying around on a table. My daughters' bedroom is always in disarray and my own bedroom looks kind of undone by the middle of the afternoon after naptime. My books and my husband's books look fine in the bookcase, but I don't mind if my daughters just throw their own books onto the shelves in whatever order they please. I go through the bookcare about once every two weeks and organize it for them, but the rest of the time don't care.
But then, I don't think that I'm dirty or filthy. The dishes get done, the kitchen gets wiped, the stove and fridge get cleaned and the table gets cleared and wiped. The toys do get picked up at least once a day. There are clean clothes in the drawers and closets and there are dirty clothes in baskets. I vacuum under cushions and I dust tables and lamps. The toilet and tub get cleaned and the sink/vanity is almost always orderly.
Anyway, that's my little rant for the day.
Toodaloo.
Fi aman Allah.
My husband thinks I'm filthy. Not just messy. Not just untidy. He thinks I'm filthy.
I admit, I don't vacuum daily sometimes. I admit, I don't mop daily. I admit that I only clean the bathroom every other day....and the inbetween day will invariently leave some of my hair on the floor after I've brushed it out.
But I feel like my family and my happiness is more important that a house that is hygienically clean. And anyway, I don't want to live in a sterile environment...it's not healthy. Literally.
I think my husband gets it from his mother. She's the kind of person that washes the walls with soapy water and a huge brush about once a month. She squeegies her floors and vacuums daily. The countertops in the kitchen are cleaned many many times a day and the beds are ALWAYS made even after midday naps.
Now, I love my mother-in-law. She's a wonderful person and the clean stuff comes naturally to her. But it's kind of annoying. If I put anything down for two minutes, it might just be missing ("put away") by the time I come back for it. And I wouldn't dare leave anything sitting on top of a dresser or table...I'd never find it again after it had been "put away".
That's not exactly the kind of environment I want my kids to live in either. My husband grew up without toys. I'm not sure whether that was a result of my father-in-law thinking toys were kind of useless (I'm not sure if he thinks that way) or whether it was a result of my mother-in-law not wanting to deal with the mess. When I'm in Syria with my kids, they have toys...but a very select few that get stuffed into a bag and put back into a closet as soon as the kids are done playing.
In my home, there are *usually* toys on the floor. Our phones are usually lying around on a table. My daughters' bedroom is always in disarray and my own bedroom looks kind of undone by the middle of the afternoon after naptime. My books and my husband's books look fine in the bookcase, but I don't mind if my daughters just throw their own books onto the shelves in whatever order they please. I go through the bookcare about once every two weeks and organize it for them, but the rest of the time don't care.
But then, I don't think that I'm dirty or filthy. The dishes get done, the kitchen gets wiped, the stove and fridge get cleaned and the table gets cleared and wiped. The toys do get picked up at least once a day. There are clean clothes in the drawers and closets and there are dirty clothes in baskets. I vacuum under cushions and I dust tables and lamps. The toilet and tub get cleaned and the sink/vanity is almost always orderly.
Anyway, that's my little rant for the day.
Toodaloo.
Fi aman Allah.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Skin Care
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Since I've been married, I've gotten to be significantly more high maintenance than I used to be. I curl my hair, I wear make-up (almost) everyday, and I am very picky about the clothes I wear.
But only just recently have I found a skin care routine that works for me and makes my (sensitive, acne prone) skin look fabulous!
It's actually a vintage routine...so to speak. It's something that my grandmothers probably used. Maybe even great-grandmothers.
Anyway, it starts with Pond's Cold Cream. In the evening, I just slather it on, including my eyelids. Leave it on for between 30 secs and a minute, then I wipe it off with a *very* warm washcloth. Sometimes I do this twice if I'm wearing a lot of make-up.
The great part about Pond's is that it takes care of alllllll of my make-up. It even takes off waterproof mascara and 16 hour lipstick. It's great! Of course there's the added benefit that it literally dissolves my blackheads. I haven't seen a blackhead since I started using this, mashaAllah!....
Okay, the next thing I use is a toner. Right now, I'm using what's left of a bottle of Neutragena Clear Pore toner. I added some rose essential oil to it to make it smell better, but I'm going to switch to Thayer's witch hazel when the bottle is done.
It's old fashioned and smells wonderful, mashaAllah, and I know that witch hazel has done the trick for my skin in the past. Plus it has aloe vera in it, which has also did wonders for my skin when I was in high school.
The next product isn't so vintage. Although I remember my mother using Aveeno when I was a kid, I don't know how long it's been around. Certainly this moisturizer is pretty new.
I use Aveeno Ultra-Calming moisturizer with SPF 15. This stuff is truly unbelievable. I didn't have a bad reaction to this moisturizer and it really does sooth the redness in my face, mashaAllah (ah the joys of being pasty white-every little red mark shows up tooooo plainly).
I've been thinking about buying a vanishing cream for the evening, but until then, this works for me. I've heard good things about Boots vanishing cream. I've seen it at Target, but every time I decide put off buying it at another time. InshaAllah I'll be heading to Target in the near future, though, and I think it might just be on my list...That and the Rose skin tonic. And maybe the Body Cream... I'm a sucker for cute packaging...
Anyway the best part about this routine is how glamourous it makes me feel. It's not the typical everyday wash, tone, moisturize, but it gets the job done and it does it better than pretty much everything I've tried before for much cheaper, mashaAllah! It kind of gives me the feeling of an old silver screen star taking off her make-up or getting herself ready for the day.
This is one routine I hope to pass along to my daughters when they're old enough!
Fi aman Allah!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The vanity of youth
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Isn't it funny how we preen over our daughters? They end up wanting to be princesses or thinking that they are princesses by the time they're three or four...or younger...
My older daughter is four. She thinks she's a fairy. Not that she really knows what a fairy is...other than that it has wings and it's little and it's cute. So she's a fairy. Oki doki. Whatever. Of course she also thinks that she's a princess and she requires her loyal subjects to be very loyal subjects indeed. This goes for everything, but especially how she looks.
She only lets me pick out my clothes to give her final approval. She's like a little queen and I'm her lady in waiting.
Her curly hair must be VERY curly for her to okay it. She hates it when I brush the top down and just leave the curls on the ends. She tells me that she's not pretty anymore if I do that... This is a big point of contention between the two of us. It's hard to get her hair to look like I've combed it without some of the curls coming out. I've used mousse, gel and hairspray on her already just so that she comes out looking like her curls are premeditated and not just wild. One of the problems with this is that she has very slow growing hair...which she managed to cut off early last year. Her hair was very short. Very short.. It's almost shoulder length now, but with the curls, it comes to just below her ears. We're trying to let it grow out now and I hope that she doesn't decide to cut it off again. Last time she kept complaining about how she looked like a boy...
Then there's make-up and nail polish and pretty dresses, etc. She always wants pink. I don't know where that came from? She doesn't watch cartoons or television other than random classic movies, islamic cartoons, and a Adnan wa Lena. So it's not because of tv. Can she really get all of that from the toy aisles at Walmart? I just don't know. It's possible that girls are just meant to be girls. They seem to naturally gravitate towards all things girly. Which is alright by me.
I didn't find my inner girliness until after I was married. I thought that I was becoming girlier when I was in college, but then I always used to wear black and I cut my hair off, etc. The only thing that was really girlier about me was that I started wearing make-up and I kept trying to feel good in skirts (I didn't succeed with the latter).
After becoming Muslim, I started feeling better about being all dolled up and making myself look attractive. I guess the easiest part about it was that I was dressing up for my husband and (when I visited them) his family only. If I had visitors, they were usually accompanied by their husbands...so no make-up or cute clothes at those times. It's much easier to deal with only one person's opinion than with all of mankind. Call me sensitive, but I didn't want to imagine what other people thought of me or didn't think of me while passing by on the street. It made me nervous. So up until I became Muslim, my look was very natural. I never used anything other than taupes on my eyes and rosy browns or nudes on my lips. Blush was very sheer and mascara.......well...at least it looked like I had eyelashes when I used it, but I wasn't interested in really accentuating my eyes with it.
Now, I've been married almost six years. The only people who see me all full of make-up and dressed up nicely are family and close friends. I LOVE to look good. I love waking up and taking out curlers/rollers to have beautiful hair...I LOVE putting on my favorite eyeshadoes and making my eyes pop with mascara (I also use Lancome Cils Booster, no matter what mascara I use) and evening out my skin tone with real foundation. Don't get me wrong...I don't look like I'm wearing five pounds of make-up...but with red lipstick and pretty eye make-up you definately wouldn't say I was going for the natural look.
And these days, skirts and dresses make up the majority of clothes hanging in my closet. I've got some pretty galabiyyas and I have some cute pants...but I guess that I'm just more dressy these days.
I've started to dislike most things "fleece" and all things make out of sweatshirt material. I'm sure that if they're tailored correctly (there are some nice jackets at F21) they could be mildly attractive and put together...they're just not my kind of thing.
So maybe it's me that's wearing off on my daughter (and probably daughters)...I can't say I'm very much into pink, but I do have my own idiosyncracies about the way I dress and the way I look. I even got the contact lenses that you can wear continuously all month, because I don't like the way I look in glasses with hijab...I'm really horrible about taking out my contacts and used to leave them in far tooooooo long.
I hope that I'm not giving my daughters the wrong impression, though. I try to be healthy...and I hope I'm making it clear to them that I only make myself up, because it makes me feel good. It's not something that I do for other people. They must know this, because when I do out, I'm covered nearly from head to toe without make-up or frills. I do not choose to allow random strangers to judge me based on the current beauty ideal. But as unimportant as it is what strangers might think about the way I look, I want them to know that it's important to look nice for the people we love. Our families and our friends. It shows respect.
An example. If a wife/mother/daughter doesn't make herself look nice at home, what does it say? If she's not sick or exhausted from something unusual...that not only is she herself not worth putting out the effort to make herself look nice, but that her family isn't worth her making the effort either.
So as an end to this rambling, I guess I'll say that it's okay that my daughter thinks she's a princess and a fairy. It's okay for her to have certain expectations about the way she looks. At least it shows that she cares.
Fi aman Allah.
Isn't it funny how we preen over our daughters? They end up wanting to be princesses or thinking that they are princesses by the time they're three or four...or younger...
My older daughter is four. She thinks she's a fairy. Not that she really knows what a fairy is...other than that it has wings and it's little and it's cute. So she's a fairy. Oki doki. Whatever. Of course she also thinks that she's a princess and she requires her loyal subjects to be very loyal subjects indeed. This goes for everything, but especially how she looks.
She only lets me pick out my clothes to give her final approval. She's like a little queen and I'm her lady in waiting.
Her curly hair must be VERY curly for her to okay it. She hates it when I brush the top down and just leave the curls on the ends. She tells me that she's not pretty anymore if I do that... This is a big point of contention between the two of us. It's hard to get her hair to look like I've combed it without some of the curls coming out. I've used mousse, gel and hairspray on her already just so that she comes out looking like her curls are premeditated and not just wild. One of the problems with this is that she has very slow growing hair...which she managed to cut off early last year. Her hair was very short. Very short.. It's almost shoulder length now, but with the curls, it comes to just below her ears. We're trying to let it grow out now and I hope that she doesn't decide to cut it off again. Last time she kept complaining about how she looked like a boy...
Then there's make-up and nail polish and pretty dresses, etc. She always wants pink. I don't know where that came from? She doesn't watch cartoons or television other than random classic movies, islamic cartoons, and a Adnan wa Lena. So it's not because of tv. Can she really get all of that from the toy aisles at Walmart? I just don't know. It's possible that girls are just meant to be girls. They seem to naturally gravitate towards all things girly. Which is alright by me.
I didn't find my inner girliness until after I was married. I thought that I was becoming girlier when I was in college, but then I always used to wear black and I cut my hair off, etc. The only thing that was really girlier about me was that I started wearing make-up and I kept trying to feel good in skirts (I didn't succeed with the latter).
After becoming Muslim, I started feeling better about being all dolled up and making myself look attractive. I guess the easiest part about it was that I was dressing up for my husband and (when I visited them) his family only. If I had visitors, they were usually accompanied by their husbands...so no make-up or cute clothes at those times. It's much easier to deal with only one person's opinion than with all of mankind. Call me sensitive, but I didn't want to imagine what other people thought of me or didn't think of me while passing by on the street. It made me nervous. So up until I became Muslim, my look was very natural. I never used anything other than taupes on my eyes and rosy browns or nudes on my lips. Blush was very sheer and mascara.......well...at least it looked like I had eyelashes when I used it, but I wasn't interested in really accentuating my eyes with it.
Now, I've been married almost six years. The only people who see me all full of make-up and dressed up nicely are family and close friends. I LOVE to look good. I love waking up and taking out curlers/rollers to have beautiful hair...I LOVE putting on my favorite eyeshadoes and making my eyes pop with mascara (I also use Lancome Cils Booster, no matter what mascara I use) and evening out my skin tone with real foundation. Don't get me wrong...I don't look like I'm wearing five pounds of make-up...but with red lipstick and pretty eye make-up you definately wouldn't say I was going for the natural look.
And these days, skirts and dresses make up the majority of clothes hanging in my closet. I've got some pretty galabiyyas and I have some cute pants...but I guess that I'm just more dressy these days.
I've started to dislike most things "fleece" and all things make out of sweatshirt material. I'm sure that if they're tailored correctly (there are some nice jackets at F21) they could be mildly attractive and put together...they're just not my kind of thing.
So maybe it's me that's wearing off on my daughter (and probably daughters)...I can't say I'm very much into pink, but I do have my own idiosyncracies about the way I dress and the way I look. I even got the contact lenses that you can wear continuously all month, because I don't like the way I look in glasses with hijab...I'm really horrible about taking out my contacts and used to leave them in far tooooooo long.
I hope that I'm not giving my daughters the wrong impression, though. I try to be healthy...and I hope I'm making it clear to them that I only make myself up, because it makes me feel good. It's not something that I do for other people. They must know this, because when I do out, I'm covered nearly from head to toe without make-up or frills. I do not choose to allow random strangers to judge me based on the current beauty ideal. But as unimportant as it is what strangers might think about the way I look, I want them to know that it's important to look nice for the people we love. Our families and our friends. It shows respect.
An example. If a wife/mother/daughter doesn't make herself look nice at home, what does it say? If she's not sick or exhausted from something unusual...that not only is she herself not worth putting out the effort to make herself look nice, but that her family isn't worth her making the effort either.
So as an end to this rambling, I guess I'll say that it's okay that my daughter thinks she's a princess and a fairy. It's okay for her to have certain expectations about the way she looks. At least it shows that she cares.
Fi aman Allah.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Good old-fashioned fun
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time preoccupied with the way I look. Sounds bad, huh? I don't think so, though. I'm married with two kids, mashaAllah...and I think it's important to keep up my looks for a couple reasons. The first is that I don't want to feel like I'm letting myself go. If I'm wearing my flannel pj bottoms at 2 PM and haven't combed my hair yet...I don't feel very good about myself. My second is that I've been married just shy of 6 years and I want to keep my husband's interest. Now, we're both heavier than we were when we married...and we both have more responsibility...and I know that my husband doesn't look at other women (the women that most men would look at, my husband finds kind of disgusting)...so............I exercise and I wear nice things and I just try to take care of myself in general.
I know that nobody really cares, but I'm going to share a few of my favorite things.
I usually start with Ivory. This stuff smells great. I don't usually like the smell of soaps. Soaps today don't smell like soap anymore. They have the fresh scents and they have the fruity scents....whatever happened to the soap scent? Anyway. I like Ivory, because I like stepping out o the shower smelling clean.
Almay Ultra-Calming moisturizer is great. I have a lot of red undertones and I'm prone to acne, so this helps tons.
I like this. I really wish I had flawless skin. I'm not ashy and my skin isn't uneven...but I have a lot of large pores around my nose. This takes care of that pretty well...
Almay Clear Complexion make-up. This is the best make-up I've ever tried. I use it almost everyday and it's one of the few that doesn't cause me to break out immediately. I can't even tell that I'm wearing any make-up when I put this on.
Pixi cheek gel. I love this. It looks very natural, mashaAllah.
Of course Superstay lipcolor is awesome. I just have to be careful not to wear it during the day...I'm not sure that you can make wudu with it on...because no water can reach the lips. Of course, I wish I had evidence to the contrary...but oh well.
Revlon Color Stay Liqid Liner. This is one of my all-time favorites. I have thin, blond, short eyelashes. This helps in all kinds of ways. I find that I don't even need to wear mascara if I put this on. It's great!
Lancome Hypnose...The waterproof kind. But I still need mascara if I want to have dramatic look. This is the best mascara I've ever tried. I think that it looks even better if I use Lancome's white mascara base, but it works well even on its own.
Of course, I also have perfumes and lotions and all kinds of wonderful things, but these are the things that make me look half-way decent everyday.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
More Tomato Staking
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh!
Ah tomato staking!
Alhamdulillah it seems to be going well. I don't have to swat her behind as much, she comes to me when I tell her, doesn't always ask "Why?!" when I request her to do something, and she doesn't seem nearly as whiny as she did before, alhamdulillah.
I'll be honest, I do see a difference, too, mashaAllah. And with the behavioral improvements, I see improvements that are even more important to me, alhamdulillah!
She is memorizing Qur'an, mashaAllah. She actually prays with us. Most of the time we leave the apartment, she insists that she cover her head, because "Allah wants her to." She helps me clean up, she plays with her sister when I tell her she should, she gives Salams, she remembers to say bismillah and alhamdulillah during meals and she says dua and recites Qur'an at bedtime.
MashaAllah! Alhamdulillah for everything!
All this isn't exactly new, but it has become MUCH more regular, alhamdulillah.
So as I'm finding this approach working for me, I'm also slowly making other changes in Jayjay's life.
Up until now, I've pretty much let her determine her own eating schedule and alhamdulillah she's in the 75th percentile on the growth chart, so it's worked for her...but she's at an age, where she should start having a regular routine.....sooooo..............she gets three meals a day, plus two or three snacks now....
And she is starting to sleep in her own bedroom. Alhamdulillah she is so proud of herself in the morning...but she was a co-sleeping baby for a long time, and has trouble falling asleep. She likes to scream a lot...Alhamdulillah she only screamed for ten minutes last night before she fell asleep on her dishak (she didn't want to sleep in her bed for some reason)...I see this as a huge improvement, though, alhamdulillah!
Oh Allah! Grant us obedient children who submit themselves to You with confidence! Ameen! Oh Allah! Give us the strength to do that which is best for our children in this life and in the next! Ameen! Oh Allah! Grant my children everlasting iman; guide them on Your straight path; and make them obedient to You and the teaching of Your prophet! Ameen!
SallAllahu ala Sayyidana Mohammad!
Fi aman Allah,
UmmJayjaat
Ah tomato staking!
Alhamdulillah it seems to be going well. I don't have to swat her behind as much, she comes to me when I tell her, doesn't always ask "Why?!" when I request her to do something, and she doesn't seem nearly as whiny as she did before, alhamdulillah.
I'll be honest, I do see a difference, too, mashaAllah. And with the behavioral improvements, I see improvements that are even more important to me, alhamdulillah!
She is memorizing Qur'an, mashaAllah. She actually prays with us. Most of the time we leave the apartment, she insists that she cover her head, because "Allah wants her to." She helps me clean up, she plays with her sister when I tell her she should, she gives Salams, she remembers to say bismillah and alhamdulillah during meals and she says dua and recites Qur'an at bedtime.
MashaAllah! Alhamdulillah for everything!
All this isn't exactly new, but it has become MUCH more regular, alhamdulillah.
So as I'm finding this approach working for me, I'm also slowly making other changes in Jayjay's life.
Up until now, I've pretty much let her determine her own eating schedule and alhamdulillah she's in the 75th percentile on the growth chart, so it's worked for her...but she's at an age, where she should start having a regular routine.....sooooo..............she gets three meals a day, plus two or three snacks now....
And she is starting to sleep in her own bedroom. Alhamdulillah she is so proud of herself in the morning...but she was a co-sleeping baby for a long time, and has trouble falling asleep. She likes to scream a lot...Alhamdulillah she only screamed for ten minutes last night before she fell asleep on her dishak (she didn't want to sleep in her bed for some reason)...I see this as a huge improvement, though, alhamdulillah!
Oh Allah! Grant us obedient children who submit themselves to You with confidence! Ameen! Oh Allah! Give us the strength to do that which is best for our children in this life and in the next! Ameen! Oh Allah! Grant my children everlasting iman; guide them on Your straight path; and make them obedient to You and the teaching of Your prophet! Ameen!
SallAllahu ala Sayyidana Mohammad!
Fi aman Allah,
UmmJayjaat
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Cleanliness is a part of our religion.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I'm just soooo tired.
Sometimes I think that my husband has OCD about cleaning. Okay, maybe not about HIM cleaning...more about things being clean. Which means me cleaning.
I'll be honest, it's tiring. Not so much the cleaning, because I'm not horrible messy or dirty. In fact, I think I'm pretty average as far as that goes. It's the comments...
"When was the last time you vacuumed under the sofa cushions?" as he looks on disdainfully after pulling one of the cushions on said sofa.
"When was the last time you clipped the girls' fingernails???"
"Did you vacuum under the sofa? Why is there a toy under the chair?"
"Look at Jayjay! Look at her shirt! Doesn't she have any clean clothes?"
"Do you call that clean???"
"I thought you wanted to clean the bathroom?"
It's getting to me.
I used to have a pretty elaborate routine and my husband seemed to be satisfied. Then I went to the hospital to be treated for chronic severe depression and I've been slacking off pretty much since. Now given, I don't let it get to the point, where I couldn't invite people over...but sometimes I need 20 minutes to tidy up and wipe down the kitchen table...
Fi aman Allah!
UmmJayjay
I'm just soooo tired.
Sometimes I think that my husband has OCD about cleaning. Okay, maybe not about HIM cleaning...more about things being clean. Which means me cleaning.
I'll be honest, it's tiring. Not so much the cleaning, because I'm not horrible messy or dirty. In fact, I think I'm pretty average as far as that goes. It's the comments...
"When was the last time you vacuumed under the sofa cushions?" as he looks on disdainfully after pulling one of the cushions on said sofa.
"When was the last time you clipped the girls' fingernails???"
"Did you vacuum under the sofa? Why is there a toy under the chair?"
"Look at Jayjay! Look at her shirt! Doesn't she have any clean clothes?"
"Do you call that clean???"
"I thought you wanted to clean the bathroom?"
It's getting to me.
I used to have a pretty elaborate routine and my husband seemed to be satisfied. Then I went to the hospital to be treated for chronic severe depression and I've been slacking off pretty much since. Now given, I don't let it get to the point, where I couldn't invite people over...but sometimes I need 20 minutes to tidy up and wipe down the kitchen table...
Fi aman Allah!
UmmJayjay
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Staking Tomatoes
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
"Fundamentalist" Christians and "practicing" Muslims seem to have a lot in common, mashaAllah, other than the whole Jesus alaihi sallam thing...
Recently, my family has become closer to a menonnite family, because their daily lives are much more similar to ours...even more so than most of the Muslims we know, subhanAllah.
Anywho.........a friend of mine (who is Muslim, mashaAllah, but used to be VERY Christian) refferred me to a website called "Raising Godly Tomatoes". Essentially, it advocates a certain way of child rearing where there is only one important principle: Teach your children OBEDIENCE. This woman advocates keeping your children close virtually 100% of the time and nipping any defiance in the bud. Of course that doesn't mean tyrany...just making sure your child knows that you have rights over him/her.
I've been looking over the website and thinking that I can apply a lot of it to the way I'd like to raise my own children, because even more for their sake than for mine, I want them to keep in mind this oft quoted hadith:
Bukhari
Book 032, Number 6180:
Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah, 's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father. In the hadith transmitted on the authority of Qutalba, there is no mention of the word" the people".
Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah, 's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father. In the hadith transmitted on the authority of Qutalba, there is no mention of the word" the people".
My girls (and inshaAllah future children) need to obey their father and me. Especially me, hehe. But seriously...if they can't convince them to obey me, how can I convince them to obey Allah ta'ala???
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Now the friend of mine who recommended this site, did so because I've been having a lot of behavioral problems with Jayjay. MashaAllah she's a bright, active girl, but she's also stubborn and prone to tantrums. She also jumps on people of whom she's fond. Literally. And sometimes painfully. She doesn't like it when she doesn't get her own way. And that's putting it mildly.
I've tried time-outs.
She thinks it's funny. Obviously that's not going to work.
I've tried spanking (gently, inshaAllah!).
She laughs. Or she gets upset and sticks her nose and chin up in the air with an attitude of "How DARE you?!?"
Sooooooooooooo.............................as my friend says, consistency is key.
I'm being consistent, inshaAllah. EVERY little show of defiance against my will is taken into account and we don't go anywhere until she obeys me. And so far it's not going badly at all, mashaAllah!!! I've had to resort to swatting her behind, but I've only "spanked" twice. I test it every now and then by having her do something she usually doesn't like doing...and I think we're getting there, inshaAllah! Alhamdulillah for everything. I'll have to test it when my friend visits again...but if Jayjay doesn't behave, she'll have to go to her room, because I'm not going to let her get away with her behavior anymore, inshaAllah. Even for a child of her age, it's not appropriate.
Fi aman Allah!
UmmBintayn
Food for thought:
From the Noble Qur'an:
002.083 YUSUFALI: And remember We took a covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): Worship none but Allah; treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and practise regular charity. Then did ye turn back, except a few among you, and ye backslide (even now).
004.036 YUSUFALI: Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;-
006.151 YUSUFALI: Say: "Come, I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited you from": Join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents; kill not your children on a plea of want;- We provide sustenance for you and for them;- come not nigh to shameful deeds. Whether open or secret; take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: thus doth He command you, that ye may learn wisdom.
017.023 YUSUFALI: Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.
029.008 YUSUFALI: We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.
031.014 YUSUFALI: And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
046.015 YUSUFALI: We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."
Sahih Bukhari
Volume 1, Book 10, Number 505:
Narrated 'Abdullah:
I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more."
Narrated 'Abdullah:
I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet would have told me more."
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 41:
Narrated Abdullah bin Masud:
I asked Allah's Apostle, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, what is next in goodness?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause." I did not ask Allah's Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.
Narrated Abdullah bin Masud:
I asked Allah's Apostle, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, what is next in goodness?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause." I did not ask Allah's Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 1:
Narrated Al-Walid bin 'Aizar:
I heard Abi Amr 'Ash-Shaibani saying, "The owner of this house." he pointed to 'Abdullah's house, "said, 'I asked the Prophet 'Which deed is loved most by Allah?" He replied, 'To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.' " 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, "To be good and dutiful to one's parents," 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, To participate in Jihad for Allah's Cause." 'Abdullah added, "The Prophet narrated to me these three things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more."
Narrated Al-Walid bin 'Aizar:
I heard Abi Amr 'Ash-Shaibani saying, "The owner of this house." he pointed to 'Abdullah's house, "said, 'I asked the Prophet 'Which deed is loved most by Allah?" He replied, 'To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.' " 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, "To be good and dutiful to one's parents," 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, To participate in Jihad for Allah's Cause." 'Abdullah added, "The Prophet narrated to me these three things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more."
Volume 9, Book 93, Number 625:
Narrated Ibn Mas'ud:
A man asked the Prophet "What deeds are the best?" The Prophet said: (1) To perform the (daily compulsory) prayers at their (early) stated fixed times, (2) To be good and dutiful to one's own parents. (3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause."
Narrated Ibn Mas'ud:
A man asked the Prophet "What deeds are the best?" The Prophet said: (1) To perform the (daily compulsory) prayers at their (early) stated fixed times, (2) To be good and dutiful to one's own parents. (3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I've been bitten
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I'm going insane.
I want to spray paint anything and everything!
It's making me crazy.
Ever since I found out that I can get spray paint at Walmart for 96 cents, I've been making a list of all of the things I want to do with it...
Given, the colors are very basic, but I only really need black and white anyway...for any accents, arcrylic paints are also cheap, mashaAllah...
So far, I've only gotten Jayjay's headboard (1.75 cans) and the closet door knobs (negligable amount) painted...but I'll be going back very soon for some matte black to paint the knobs on the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, inshaAllah...
I think I'll also add some spray primer to my arsenal...then maybe I can get at the door knobs?
Some matte white would lighten up the light fixture in the bathroom...
Jayjay still has a dresser that matched her bed...inshaAllah I'll get that done...and when I get her bookcase and night table over here, those will have to be painted too, inshaAllah. Her bed is now black with some lavender dots as accents...inshaAllah I'll paint the bookcase just the same and use it as the foot of her bed. I think I'll paint her night table and dresser red with lavender dots, inshaAllah...???
There are soooooooooo many possibilities, subhanAllah........
InshaAllah I'll make them happen!
Fi aman Allah!
I'm going insane.
I want to spray paint anything and everything!
It's making me crazy.
Ever since I found out that I can get spray paint at Walmart for 96 cents, I've been making a list of all of the things I want to do with it...
Given, the colors are very basic, but I only really need black and white anyway...for any accents, arcrylic paints are also cheap, mashaAllah...
So far, I've only gotten Jayjay's headboard (1.75 cans) and the closet door knobs (negligable amount) painted...but I'll be going back very soon for some matte black to paint the knobs on the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, inshaAllah...
I think I'll also add some spray primer to my arsenal...then maybe I can get at the door knobs?
Some matte white would lighten up the light fixture in the bathroom...
Jayjay still has a dresser that matched her bed...inshaAllah I'll get that done...and when I get her bookcase and night table over here, those will have to be painted too, inshaAllah. Her bed is now black with some lavender dots as accents...inshaAllah I'll paint the bookcase just the same and use it as the foot of her bed. I think I'll paint her night table and dresser red with lavender dots, inshaAllah...???
There are soooooooooo many possibilities, subhanAllah........
InshaAllah I'll make them happen!
Fi aman Allah!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Fitness, anyone?
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I am working to lose the weight that I gained in my last pregnancy. And it's tough. Not TOO tough, but it's something that I know will take months and months... I hope to be at my goal weight by the end of this year...
That's what happens when I go and gain 60 lbs during pregnancy.
At the moment, I'm exercising everyday...sometimes it's only 10 minutes, but I have to do something to make me sweat, because in addition to helping me lose weight, doing "vigorous" exercise seems to help my mood even more than my antidepressants...so..........................like I wrote, I'm exercising daily...
I'm also trying to eat better. That's a little tough sometimes having a family, especially a husband, with less than exemplary eating habits. Now, my husband IS trying to be healthier, he just isn't quite so determined as I an, I guess...but then he doesn't have the vanity of a woman to fight with either. And he's losing a little weight, too, mashaAllah...just much slower.
The last few weeks, I let things slip a little and while I didn't gain weight, I wasn't losing either...so I'm happy today that I've lost another pound...because it makes me feel like the efforts are worth it...
I am working to lose the weight that I gained in my last pregnancy. And it's tough. Not TOO tough, but it's something that I know will take months and months... I hope to be at my goal weight by the end of this year...
That's what happens when I go and gain 60 lbs during pregnancy.
At the moment, I'm exercising everyday...sometimes it's only 10 minutes, but I have to do something to make me sweat, because in addition to helping me lose weight, doing "vigorous" exercise seems to help my mood even more than my antidepressants...so..........................like I wrote, I'm exercising daily...
I'm also trying to eat better. That's a little tough sometimes having a family, especially a husband, with less than exemplary eating habits. Now, my husband IS trying to be healthier, he just isn't quite so determined as I an, I guess...but then he doesn't have the vanity of a woman to fight with either. And he's losing a little weight, too, mashaAllah...just much slower.
The last few weeks, I let things slip a little and while I didn't gain weight, I wasn't losing either...so I'm happy today that I've lost another pound...because it makes me feel like the efforts are worth it...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Baubbles
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
My dad just got back from a two week trip to Japan. Alhamdulillah he had a great time and he got to do and see everything there that he had planned. Of course it wasn't too hard, because he was traveling with only two other people (and two people that he knows and with whom enjoys spending time).
I pray and hope that someday my father will come to Islam. There is a lot that he doesn't understand, but he's certainly very tolerant, alhamdulillah. He doesn't quite get why I wear hijab (headscarf and abaya/jilbab), but he respects my decisions and he knows that my life is much more content now than it was a few years ago before I became Muslim, alhamdulillah.
May Allah ta'ala guide him to the straight path. Ameen.
Anywho....................he got some very pretty trinkets for my girls from Kamakura, mashaAllah. Two pretty pearl and silver necklaces. Jayjay wanted to wear her necklace right away, but took it off again. I think she likes looking at it more than wearing it, hehe. They are really very cute and simple, mashaAllah (my dad said he wanted something delicate enough for young girls to wear, mashaAllah).
I am so happy he's back, alhamdulillah. I'm pleased he had such a good time, but all the same, it's wonderful to have him home. He's one of the few people who really understands me. He knows how to adjust to my moods so well, subhanAllah, and he will never say anything he thinks may hurt me. InshaAllah I can be there to support him the way that he has supported me.
My dad just got back from a two week trip to Japan. Alhamdulillah he had a great time and he got to do and see everything there that he had planned. Of course it wasn't too hard, because he was traveling with only two other people (and two people that he knows and with whom enjoys spending time).
I pray and hope that someday my father will come to Islam. There is a lot that he doesn't understand, but he's certainly very tolerant, alhamdulillah. He doesn't quite get why I wear hijab (headscarf and abaya/jilbab), but he respects my decisions and he knows that my life is much more content now than it was a few years ago before I became Muslim, alhamdulillah.
May Allah ta'ala guide him to the straight path. Ameen.
Anywho....................he got some very pretty trinkets for my girls from Kamakura, mashaAllah. Two pretty pearl and silver necklaces. Jayjay wanted to wear her necklace right away, but took it off again. I think she likes looking at it more than wearing it, hehe. They are really very cute and simple, mashaAllah (my dad said he wanted something delicate enough for young girls to wear, mashaAllah).
I am so happy he's back, alhamdulillah. I'm pleased he had such a good time, but all the same, it's wonderful to have him home. He's one of the few people who really understands me. He knows how to adjust to my moods so well, subhanAllah, and he will never say anything he thinks may hurt me. InshaAllah I can be there to support him the way that he has supported me.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
One of the funnier things I've heard lately is "Why should a woman who covers herself from head to toe care about what she looks like?"
Okay. It's not that funny. It's actually a little insulting and dehumanizing.
We are hijabis. But are we not human beings as well? Are we not women?
We want to look good, if not for the sake of Allah or our own sakes, then also for the sakes of our loved ones.
No woman wants to be found unattractive by her husband. No woman wants to look in the mirror and reflect on how she has let herself go.
As Muslimahs and hijabis, there are reasons all over the web in favor of covering ourselves...and a lot of helpful tips on how to discuss hijab with non-muslims. One of the most popular explanations goes thus:
So many women (non-muslims and muslims alike) get themselves dressed and made-up to go out to work/the store/anywhere but home...and when they come home, they put on their pj's and wipe their faces clean and put their hair into a ponytail or bun all in the name of comfort. And they do this in front of their husband's and children. But logically, since these same women would place their families much higher on the list of priorities than some stranger that might see them at the 7-11, shouldn't they put a little more effort into how they appear before their dear ones than how they might appear elsewhere?
It might seem quaint to try and be your best at home and for your family. It might seem unreasonable to expect a woman to give up her comfy pj's for something more attractive. It might seem as though family and spouse should accept you just as you are...
But who said that attractive clothes can't be comfortable? And your spouse may accept you for who you are, frump and all, but shouldn't you at least TRY to please him? You could always replace those frumpy sweats with a pretty jersey nightgown you know....
So..........................................................
Yes, although I cover myself from head to toe, I still worry and care about the way I look. If for no other reason than that I want my family to know that I respect them enough to look good for them and to teach my daughters that it's important to take care of yourself as well as others.
Oh what a beautiful morning
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,I haven't been sleeping well lately.
Jayjay and Jayjiay (Jayjay's little sister) are doing great, mashaAllah.
We've decided to have Jayjay start preschool instead of 4K this fall, inshaAllah. Although she seems to be ready for school (she knows her alphabet and can read some easy words, she can write the alphabet and some easy words, her language skill are great, she can draw a little, she follows stories well, etc.), we have some doubts about her behavior. We're not sure whether she will be calmer around other children/in a school environment, but we want to make sure that she doesn't have ADHD before she starts school, inshaAllah. That would be the worst case scenario, but she's a VERY energetic child. She's not afraid of anything, subhanAllah, and she's always getting into something...
I feel as though I should be spending more time with Jayjay since her little sister was born. She could probably learn a lot more quickly if I would just take the time. Allahu Alim.
Her little sister is developing perfectly, alhamdulillah. She's learning to crawl, babbling and doing all the things a baby her age does, mashaAllah.
May Allah ta'ala protect my children, guide them, and keep them on the straight path. Ameen.
As for me, I'm tired. All the time. I have really been struggling with my depression lately. I don't know why it's gotten this bad now. It's been affecting me for over ten years now, but this year seems the worst. I've been in the hospital twice, I'm seeing my psychiatrist and therapist and really working on trying to get better, but it's tough. SubhanAllah, sometimes I feel like I'll never get better. I have to, though...for my girls.A lot of it is about my childhood (go figure...). Freud could have written a book about me. But how do you get rid of your childhood? How do you get rid of the effects of it? And after years of trying to "leave the past in the past", how do I rehash it all now? Can't I just get better without remembering?
I've been spending more time on myself, though, alhamdulillah.
Probably the most important thing is that I'm exercising everyday and I'm eating much healthier than I have for the past year. Alhamdulillah. MashaAllah it makes me feel better. It probably even does more for me than the antidepressants, although I'm not about to stop taking my meds to find out.
I'm also TRYING not to feel guilty about taking time for myself. Alhamdulillah I went on a little road trip with a friend of mine and I only took the baby (Jayjay stayed at home with her father and with my SIL after my husband went to work). I was away the whole day, spent time with a great sister, met some other wonderful sisters, and I got to visit my old university...it doesn't get much better! And the baby was so well-behaved, mashaAllah! Everybody loved her, mashaAllah! So much that my husband lives in fear that someone will put 3in on her...oh well...reciting more Qur'an and making more dua is never bad, right!?!There's so much more I could write, but it's 4:30 AM and about time I get to sleep...I MIGHT start using this blog more as a journal (therapist says it's good for me)...but who knows...should I really write to everyone who's interested about how messed up I am?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Muslim Community
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
It's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only Muslimah in my city. I had heard of others, but had never seen any...other than foreign students and those from other cities...oh well...
Alhamdulillah, there is another Muslimah in my area and she's very nice, mashaAllah. I met her last week, mashaAllah. InshaAllah we'll become true sisters in Islam! Ameen.
It's wonderful to be a part of a Muslim community. In Germany, there were many Muslims, mashaAllah, and while it wasn't the best community, I had friends and good neighbors and was able to indulge in a social life. It was wonderful, mashaAllah, even though I disliked living in Germany immensely, subhanAllah.
There are many Muslim communities in America...or at the very least, there are a lot ot communities with a Muslim population. It's sad how often I hear that people are dissatisfied with their community in general. That they have a hard time connecting with other Muslims in their area and that they feel as though there is no connection.
Unfortunately, Muslims seem to be like everyone else in that they group together according to nationality. If you go to a mosque which is mostly visited by people from the subcontinent, you might find a small group of Arabs off to the side by themselves. And vice versa. It's a sad phenomena...and one that should be eradicated. The larger population has a duty to try and incorporate the smaller population, I think. We are all Muslims. That is our binding feature...and it should be the most important feature of our lives. Prejudice has no part in Islam.
Alhamdulillah, if you can think of no other topic to start with...start talking about Islam! InshaAllah that can lead to friendship. With an open mind, you can talk about so many things...and it's interesting how much you can learn about another culture through the "eyes" of Islam, mashaAllah. The little conversations...we do this, what do you do?
So many of us take the community around us for granted. There are so many wonderful people and wonderful Muslims all over the world. Opportunities for friendship and for dawah.
May Allah ta'ala open our hearts, guide the Muslimeen, and make us a strong Ummah. Ameen.
May Allah ta'ala grant us pious children, better than their parents, and blessings to all they meet. Ameen.
May Allah ta'ala guide us on the straight path. Ameen.
Fi aman Allah,
Katherine
It's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only Muslimah in my city. I had heard of others, but had never seen any...other than foreign students and those from other cities...oh well...
Alhamdulillah, there is another Muslimah in my area and she's very nice, mashaAllah. I met her last week, mashaAllah. InshaAllah we'll become true sisters in Islam! Ameen.
It's wonderful to be a part of a Muslim community. In Germany, there were many Muslims, mashaAllah, and while it wasn't the best community, I had friends and good neighbors and was able to indulge in a social life. It was wonderful, mashaAllah, even though I disliked living in Germany immensely, subhanAllah.
There are many Muslim communities in America...or at the very least, there are a lot ot communities with a Muslim population. It's sad how often I hear that people are dissatisfied with their community in general. That they have a hard time connecting with other Muslims in their area and that they feel as though there is no connection.
Unfortunately, Muslims seem to be like everyone else in that they group together according to nationality. If you go to a mosque which is mostly visited by people from the subcontinent, you might find a small group of Arabs off to the side by themselves. And vice versa. It's a sad phenomena...and one that should be eradicated. The larger population has a duty to try and incorporate the smaller population, I think. We are all Muslims. That is our binding feature...and it should be the most important feature of our lives. Prejudice has no part in Islam.
Alhamdulillah, if you can think of no other topic to start with...start talking about Islam! InshaAllah that can lead to friendship. With an open mind, you can talk about so many things...and it's interesting how much you can learn about another culture through the "eyes" of Islam, mashaAllah. The little conversations...we do this, what do you do?
So many of us take the community around us for granted. There are so many wonderful people and wonderful Muslims all over the world. Opportunities for friendship and for dawah.
May Allah ta'ala open our hearts, guide the Muslimeen, and make us a strong Ummah. Ameen.
May Allah ta'ala grant us pious children, better than their parents, and blessings to all they meet. Ameen.
May Allah ta'ala guide us on the straight path. Ameen.
Fi aman Allah,
Katherine
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Best Years of My Life?
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
My three month old spent a lot of time screaming at me yesterday and today. SubhanAllah, it's a lot of work having two small children at home! My husband actually refused to let me leave both of them with him when I had to be away for a more than a couple hours yesterday. It was either the pre-schooler or the baby...I pumped two bottles and left the baby with him.
I'm trying to take it humorously, inshaAllah. I know that it's tough and he's definately not the kind of guy to take over a mothering role, hehe. Our three year old is a bundle of energy, too, subhanAllah wa mashaAllah...always running around (literally, she runs around the kitchen table with a backpack), dancing, singing, coloring, telling stories, etc. Pwah.....she can be hard to handle at times. She's also been a bit defiant lately, subhanAllah, so she gets a lot of time-outs..for things like drawing on the walls, purposely spilling things on the floor, etc...
The baby has been a little fussy the last few days, but she's not sick, alhamdulillah, so I expect that'll be short lived, inshaAllah. She's usually that sweetest little thing, mashaAllah and always smiling and happy, mashaAllah.
May Allah ta'ala protect them both and guide them on the straight path. Ameen. May Allah ta'ala make my children better than their parents. Ameen.
As hard as it is (keeping a clean and tidy home, cooking while the baby is crying, making sure everyone is clean and dressed appropriately, keeping myself looking good, taking care of my husband, etc.), I really believe that these are the best years of my life. Raising my babies. Watching them grow. Teaching them.
All of the little things. The firsts. Rolling over, first words, crawling, walking....running!
And I've taught Jayjay to ride her bike, she knows her alphabet and is starting to read and write, mashaAllah, which takes a lot of effort not only on her part, but on mine. And she's learned how to shower herself (with supervision), dress herself, and she takes care of her things (more or less), mashaAllah. She is learning the shorter surahs and she loves to sing to anasheed, mashaAllah. She's going to go sledding for the first time this winter, inshaAllah!
It's amazing how fast it goes. And I'm really trying to keep up, inshaAllah.
But all in all, it's amazing. I don't know if it gets any better than this? And if it doesn't, I'm satisfied. I have enough. It's enough for me to know that my baby is growing up into a happy, well-adjusted little girl and inshaAllah her sister will follow in her footsteps (minus the drawing on the walls, inshaAllah....). She has everything that I wanted to give my children that I didn't have for myself, mashaAllah...and not much of that falls into the category of "material wants".
InshaAllah I'll be able to keep up and nurture the relationship I have with my children. InshaAllah I'll always be able to give to them to the best of my ability. InshaAllah I will always put my family first in the dunya. InshaAllah we will grow stronger together.
Fi aman Allah,
Katherine
My three month old spent a lot of time screaming at me yesterday and today. SubhanAllah, it's a lot of work having two small children at home! My husband actually refused to let me leave both of them with him when I had to be away for a more than a couple hours yesterday. It was either the pre-schooler or the baby...I pumped two bottles and left the baby with him.
I'm trying to take it humorously, inshaAllah. I know that it's tough and he's definately not the kind of guy to take over a mothering role, hehe. Our three year old is a bundle of energy, too, subhanAllah wa mashaAllah...always running around (literally, she runs around the kitchen table with a backpack), dancing, singing, coloring, telling stories, etc. Pwah.....she can be hard to handle at times. She's also been a bit defiant lately, subhanAllah, so she gets a lot of time-outs..for things like drawing on the walls, purposely spilling things on the floor, etc...
The baby has been a little fussy the last few days, but she's not sick, alhamdulillah, so I expect that'll be short lived, inshaAllah. She's usually that sweetest little thing, mashaAllah and always smiling and happy, mashaAllah.
May Allah ta'ala protect them both and guide them on the straight path. Ameen. May Allah ta'ala make my children better than their parents. Ameen.
As hard as it is (keeping a clean and tidy home, cooking while the baby is crying, making sure everyone is clean and dressed appropriately, keeping myself looking good, taking care of my husband, etc.), I really believe that these are the best years of my life. Raising my babies. Watching them grow. Teaching them.
All of the little things. The firsts. Rolling over, first words, crawling, walking....running!
And I've taught Jayjay to ride her bike, she knows her alphabet and is starting to read and write, mashaAllah, which takes a lot of effort not only on her part, but on mine. And she's learned how to shower herself (with supervision), dress herself, and she takes care of her things (more or less), mashaAllah. She is learning the shorter surahs and she loves to sing to anasheed, mashaAllah. She's going to go sledding for the first time this winter, inshaAllah!
It's amazing how fast it goes. And I'm really trying to keep up, inshaAllah.
But all in all, it's amazing. I don't know if it gets any better than this? And if it doesn't, I'm satisfied. I have enough. It's enough for me to know that my baby is growing up into a happy, well-adjusted little girl and inshaAllah her sister will follow in her footsteps (minus the drawing on the walls, inshaAllah....). She has everything that I wanted to give my children that I didn't have for myself, mashaAllah...and not much of that falls into the category of "material wants".
InshaAllah I'll be able to keep up and nurture the relationship I have with my children. InshaAllah I'll always be able to give to them to the best of my ability. InshaAllah I will always put my family first in the dunya. InshaAllah we will grow stronger together.
Fi aman Allah,
Katherine
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