Fitness, anyone?

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I am working to lose the weight that I gained in my last pregnancy. And it's tough. Not TOO tough, but it's something that I know will take months and months... I hope to be at my goal weight by the end of this year...

That's what happens when I go and gain 60 lbs during pregnancy.

At the moment, I'm exercising everyday...sometimes it's only 10 minutes, but I have to do something to make me sweat, because in addition to helping me lose weight, doing "vigorous" exercise seems to help my mood even more than my antidepressants...so..........................like I wrote, I'm exercising daily...

I'm also trying to eat better. That's a little tough sometimes having a family, especially a husband, with less than exemplary eating habits. Now, my husband IS trying to be healthier, he just isn't quite so determined as I an, I guess...but then he doesn't have the vanity of a woman to fight with either. And he's losing a little weight, too, mashaAllah...just much slower.

The last few weeks, I let things slip a little and while I didn't gain weight, I wasn't losing either...so I'm happy today that I've lost another pound...because it makes me feel like the efforts are worth it...

Baubbles

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

My dad just got back from a two week trip to Japan. Alhamdulillah he had a great time and he got to do and see everything there that he had planned. Of course it wasn't too hard, because he was traveling with only two other people (and two people that he knows and with whom enjoys spending time).



I pray and hope that someday my father will come to Islam. There is a lot that he doesn't understand, but he's certainly very tolerant, alhamdulillah. He doesn't quite get why I wear hijab (headscarf and abaya/jilbab), but he respects my decisions and he knows that my life is much more content now than it was a few years ago before I became Muslim, alhamdulillah.

May Allah ta'ala guide him to the straight path. Ameen.

Anywho....................he got some very pretty trinkets for my girls from Kamakura, mashaAllah. Two pretty pearl and silver necklaces. Jayjay wanted to wear her necklace right away, but took it off again. I think she likes looking at it more than wearing it, hehe. They are really very cute and simple, mashaAllah (my dad said he wanted something delicate enough for young girls to wear, mashaAllah).

I am so happy he's back, alhamdulillah. I'm pleased he had such a good time, but all the same, it's wonderful to have him home. He's one of the few people who really understands me. He knows how to adjust to my moods so well, subhanAllah, and he will never say anything he thinks may hurt me. InshaAllah I can be there to support him the way that he has supported me.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

One of the funnier things I've heard lately is "Why should a woman who covers herself from head to toe care about what she looks like?"

Okay. It's not that funny. It's actually a little insulting and dehumanizing.

We are hijabis. But are we not human beings as well? Are we not women?

We want to look good, if not for the sake of Allah or our own sakes, then also for the sakes of our loved ones.

No woman wants to be found unattractive by her husband. No woman wants to look in the mirror and reflect on how she has let herself go.

As Muslimahs and hijabis, there are reasons all over the web in favor of covering ourselves...and a lot of helpful tips on how to discuss hijab with non-muslims. One of the most popular explanations goes thus:

So many women (non-muslims and muslims alike) get themselves dressed and made-up to go out to work/the store/anywhere but home...and when they come home, they put on their pj's and wipe their faces clean and put their hair into a ponytail or bun all in the name of comfort. And they do this in front of their husband's and children. But logically, since these same women would place their families much higher on the list of priorities than some stranger that might see them at the 7-11, shouldn't they put a little more effort into how they appear before their dear ones than how they might appear elsewhere?

It might seem quaint to try and be your best at home and for your family. It might seem unreasonable to expect a woman to give up her comfy pj's for something more attractive. It might seem as though family and spouse should accept you just as you are...

But who said that attractive clothes can't be comfortable? And your spouse may accept you for who you are, frump and all, but shouldn't you at least TRY to please him? You could always replace those frumpy sweats with a pretty jersey nightgown you know....

So..........................................................

Yes, although I cover myself from head to toe, I still worry and care about the way I look. If for no other reason than that I want my family to know that I respect them enough to look good for them and to teach my daughters that it's important to take care of yourself as well as others.

Oh what a beautiful morning

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

I haven't been sleeping well lately.

Jayjay and Jayjiay (Jayjay's little sister) are doing great, mashaAllah.

We've decided to have Jayjay start preschool instead of 4K this fall, inshaAllah. Although she seems to be ready for school (she knows her alphabet and can read some easy words, she can write the alphabet and some easy words, her language skill are great, she can draw a little, she follows stories well, etc.), we have some doubts about her behavior. We're not sure whether she will be calmer around other children/in a school environment, but we want to make sure that she doesn't have ADHD before she starts school, inshaAllah. That would be the worst case scenario, but she's a VERY energetic child. She's not afraid of anything, subhanAllah, and she's always getting into something...

I feel as though I should be spending more time with Jayjay since her little sister was born. She could probably learn a lot more quickly if I would just take the time. Allahu Alim.

Her little sister is developing perfectly, alhamdulillah. She's learning to crawl, babbling and doing all the things a baby her age does, mashaAllah.

May Allah ta'ala protect my children, guide them, and keep them on the straight path. Ameen.

As for me, I'm tired. All the time. I have really been struggling with my depression lately. I don't know why it's gotten this bad now. It's been affecting me for over ten years now, but this year seems the worst. I've been in the hospital twice, I'm seeing my psychiatrist and therapist and really working on trying to get better, but it's tough. SubhanAllah, sometimes I feel like I'll never get better. I have to, though...for my girls.

A lot of it is about my childhood (go figure...). Freud could have written a book about me. But how do you get rid of your childhood? How do you get rid of the effects of it? And after years of trying to "leave the past in the past", how do I rehash it all now? Can't I just get better without remembering?

I've been spending more time on myself, though, alhamdulillah.

Probably the most important thing is that I'm exercising everyday and I'm eating much healthier than I have for the past year. Alhamdulillah. MashaAllah it makes me feel better. It probably even does more for me than the antidepressants, although I'm not about to stop taking my meds to find out.

I'm also TRYING not to feel guilty about taking time for myself. Alhamdulillah I went on a little road trip with a friend of mine and I only took the baby (Jayjay stayed at home with her father and with my SIL after my husband went to work). I was away the whole day, spent time with a great sister, met some other wonderful sisters, and I got to visit my old university...it doesn't get much better! And the baby was so well-behaved, mashaAllah! Everybody loved her, mashaAllah! So much that my husband lives in fear that someone will put 3in on her...oh well...reciting more Qur'an and making more dua is never bad, right!?!

There's so much more I could write, but it's 4:30 AM and about time I get to sleep...I MIGHT start using this blog more as a journal (therapist says it's good for me)...but who knows...should I really write to everyone who's interested about how messed up I am?